Fifteenth in an ongoing series
RISHON LEZION, Israel — So much of Westerners hear about the Middle East is serious. As a result, most people probably do not know the bright side of life here (with apologies to Monty Python). So here is a list of ten, random anecdotes that you might find interesting.
1. On my second vacation to Israel is 2007, I was trying on some clothes in the dressing room of a Tel Aviv mall. Without any warning, the clerk threw open the curtain after a few minutes and asked, “So, do you like it?” I was halfway undressed, and there were tons of people in the store! (At least the clerk, as usual in stores, was a cute girl.) There is little personal space here. When I lived with roommates, they would open the door and walk into my room without even knocking. It’s a casual country.
2. Even business is casual. At my first job in the high-tech industry here, my boss — the director of the department — usually wore sweatpants and a sweatshirt to work. Men go for days without shaving, even to job interviews. “Dressing up” consists of wearing a nice pair of jeans and a short-sleeve, button-down shirt. That is the typical dress for a wedding (unless you are the bride or groom) or even going to a synagogue. As one Israeli remarked to me: “Only lawyers and the prime minister wear suits here.” I love it — especially the part about not having to shave every day. Most Israelis outside the fashionable parts of Tel Aviv could care less about high fashion. It is common to see most people in cheap, comfortable clothes.
3. I love haggling! You can do it almost everywhere. I was doing my Friday shopping before Shabbat earlier today, and I saved fifteen percent from the sticker prices when I bought a CD player and some posters for my apartment. I have my own secret: Since most sales clerks are high-school girls or young women just out of the army, I flirt shamelessly and intentionally speak Hebrew worse than what I actually know. They always think the American accent is cute! The next time I go on vacation to the United States, I think I will try my haggling skills there. Perhaps I’ll even put on a fake — and bad –
Israeli accent.
4. The funniest thing I have seen to date: A bar full of drunk Israelis singing aloud — in their heavy accents — to “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen.
5. Whenever you walk through a busy part of town, it is common for members from an outreach group of Orthodox Jews called Chabad to come up to you (if you are a man) and ask, “Did you pray today?” (It is optional for women to do the thrice-daily prayers.) Then they will try and try to get you to put on tefillin — traditional, leather straps around your left arm and forehead containing pieces of paper with words from the Bible — and say the prayers right on the sidewalk. One rabbi in Jerusalem offered a free bagel sandwich to anyone who would do it. (I took the free food.)
6. I was wheeling a shopping cart full of groceries to a taxi waiting outside a supermarket when three Israelis came up and asked if I needed help loading them. You’d never see that in the United States, at least on the East Coast.
7. The enthusiasm of street vendors can be startling. I was walking by a group of young men on a sidewalk bench when one of them shouted suddenly right at me, “One orange for a shekel (twenty-five cents)!” I declined and wished them the common greeting on Thursdays and Fridays of “Shabbat Shalom (Peaceful Sabbath)!”
8. Once you get used to it, Israeli bluntness is quite amusing and refreshing. People here have no patience for anything, and they will always get right to the point as quickly as possible. A friend of mine was telling a story about another friend of hers, and I asked which one it was because I did not remember. Instead of saying something like, “My friend who works at Cellcom and studies communications,” she merely said, “The fat one.” Immediately, I knew to whom she was referring.
This attitude stems partly from the fact that Hebrew is a blunt, concise language. When I was working part-time in a kitchen in a bar, the manager would hand me dishes that needed washing. Instead of saying, “Here are some more dishes,” he would say in Hebrew, “Take.” If a person disagrees with someone (sometimes even a boss) about something, he will not raise polite counterpoints. He will say, “You’re an idiot!” and then explain why. It’s not being rude or bossy; it is just how people talk. Once you get used to a new alphabet with weird-looking characters that you read right to left, Hebrew is a comparatively simple language to learn. Moreover, you learn to develop a thick skin here.
9. Shabbat begins every week at sundown on Friday. Ten minutes before, rabbis from Chabad — the group I mentioned earlier — will turn on loudspeakers on top of a building in the center of the city and announce that Shabbat is starting. Then they will blare a recording of “Shalom Aleichem” (“Peace Upon You”) for everyone to hear. The song is a traditional one that is sung at the beginning of Friday night dinner. It is a greeting to the two angels who, in Jewish thought, accompany everyone on his way home from the synagogue to eat. (I like the announcement, but I have never thought to ask secular Israelis what they think.)
10. Israeli teenagers love fireworks. In addition to the backfiring cars that I mentioned in a prior letter, one always hears the noise of firecrackers — or larger — going off. When I was walking through downtown Jerusalem with a friend one time, a group of nearby children set off what sounded like an M-80. The buildings and our bodies seemed to shake. I was not used to the noise at that point, so my friend and I jumped and thought the worst when we heard the explosion. When I saw the children, I was about to walk over and strangle them myself. But then the police arrived and got them to go away. Now, I realize that it is just kids being kids.
Prior letter: Stories from the Desert III